The City of Big Shoulders, a.k.a. Chicago, Illinois, was the last city to have an "Ugly Law." It states: "No person who is diseased, maimed, mutilated or in any way deformed so as to be an unsightly or disgusting object, or an improper person to be allowed in or on the public ways or other public places in this city, shall therein or thereon expose himself to public view, under a penalty of not less than $1 nor more than $50 for each offense." Note: This is true. In ...
302. Peter at the Pearly Gates
Humor Illustration
... mistake. You see, we don't keep any records." The man was greatly relieved and overjoyed and a sudden peace came over him. Then he saw another group of men over in a corner beating their heads against a celestial wall and clinching their fists and stomping their feet in disgust. "What is the matter with them?" the man asked St. Peter. "Oh," said St. Peter with a smile, "They also thought we kept records."
303. Eat For A Day
Humor Illustration
After fishing all day without even a nibble, a man said disgustedly to his companion, "You know the saying, 'Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish, and he'll eat for a lifetime''?" "Yes?" "Well, whoever said it wasn't a fisherman."
304. Itemized Cow
Humor Illustration
There was a farmer who was interested in a new car. As he shopped he became disgusted with the manner of pricing which included the "optional equipment," but he made his purchase. Some time later, the salesman who sold him the car came to the farm to buy a cow. The farmer showed him several cows and helped him to decide on a particular one. Scribbling on ...
305. Courage in the Midst of Fear
Mark 4:35-41
Illustration
Kristin Borsgard Wee
... . Napoleon often referred to Marshall Ney as the bravest man he had ever known. Yet, the captain's knees trembled so badly one morning before a battle that he had trouble getting on his horse. When he was finally in the saddle, he looked at his knees and said with disgust, "Shake away, knees. You would shake worse than that if you knew where I am going to take you." Now that's a man I can really like!
December 6, 2002, was my birthday, and I had no idea what a great birthday present was in the offing, if I had just waited. I'm a Lakers fan, and when I got home that evening the Lakers were down 70-46. I was disgusted. At the start of the fourth quarter they were down by 28 points. I didn't wait to see what would happen. I turned off the set. I missed one of the greatest comebacks in basketball history, as the Lakers won 105-103. It was my own fault. I wasn' ...
... by size and numbers, as you seem to be. But that He really went I know, and all of us in Heaven who know anything know that. As to why He became one of them ‑ how else do you suppose could He visit them?" The little angels face wrinkled in disgust. "Do you mean to tell me," he said, "that He stooped so low as to become one of those creeping, crawling creatures of that floating ball?" "I do, and I don't think He would like you to call them 'creeping, crawling creatures' in that tone of voice. For, strange ...
... trekked out to the desert to hear this strange man. He is an astonishing preacher, we have to grant. Not many would start out the way he did — he stood before the assembled crowd, stared at them with a look of scarcely disguised disgust, then bellowed, "You area bunch of snakes!" Wow. That should get a congregation's attention. The crowd is equally amazing. After this phenomenal insult, they must know that it is downhill from here, but they stay. "Vipers ... the coming wrath ... repentance ... trees cut ...
... the people of an entire nation. That is why betrayal can destroy a marriage, a family, a community, or even a church. It is why we are outraged at someone who would choose to fight against his own country in time of war, why we are disgusted with highly paid executives of big corporations that declare bankruptcy leaving their workers holding an empty bag, why we are repulsed at the repeated stories of pedophile priests. We have always been hard on the Judases of this world. We won't even name a dog "Judas ...
310. If You Don't Know
Humor Illustration
On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson innocently said to my son, 'Dad, I know babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?' After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust, 'You don't have to make up something, Dad. It's okay if you don't know the answer.'
... . "What seems to be the matter, madam?" asked the attendant. "Can't you see?" the woman responded. "You have assigned me a seat next to a kaffir (a pejorative word referring to a native black African). I cannot possibly sit next to this disgusting human being. Please find me another seat as soon as possible!" The cabin attendant, hearing the words and observing the commotion that was clearly stirring among other passengers, commented, "Please calm down, madam. The flight is very full today but I will do ...
Matthew 5:40, 43-44, Colossians 1:15, 16-19, Matthew 5:3, 6, 11
Sermon
Scott Suskovic
... to have some basic biblical knowledge but soon found out they had very little. She grew up in a church with a picture of Jesus teaching these words on a small mountain overseeing a green hillside surrounded by eager pink children. She never heard these words with disgust or anger. But that is what her students wrote: The stuff the churches preach is extremely strict and allows for almost no fun without thinking it is a sin or not. The things asked in this sermon are absurd. To look at a woman is adultery ...
... is ripping us apart. And all our power, success, and enormous affluence can't make it go away. It goes by many names, but it produces the same result. Our politics are a sham. Our religious congregations squabble among themselves until people walk out in disgust. Our schools spend hours arguing over the tangential and fail at the essential. Our families are falling apart and our children are killing each other. It is instructive to notice in the story of Naaman where the first signs of hope come from. In ...
... by all of it. Psalm 22:3 declares that God is enthroned upon the praises of Israel, but God isn't feeling the love. Worship that is devoid of devotion to God and commitment to God's ways is nothing more than a burden. And God turns away in disgust. When you stretch out your hands, I will hide my eyes from you; even though you make many prayers, I will not listen; your hands are full of blood. Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your doings from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn ...
... through the service we give to others. A traveling man bought his wife a little souvenir a phosphorescent match box which was supposed to glow in the dark. However, when he turned out the light to demonstrate its use, there was not even the faintest glow. Disgustedly, he concluded that he had been cheated. The next day his wife examined the box more closely, and found an inscription in tiny letters, “If you want me to shine in the night, keep me in the sunlight through the day.” She did as directed; and ...
... Beach during Spring Break, his life becomes a disaster. He makes all the wrong choices at every turn. When he gets in trouble he chooses the worst possible options as a “way out” — he becomes a servant to swine, and he cannot even snack on their disgusting food. One of the reasons we like the parable of the prodigal son so much is that we like the contriteness of the contrary youngster. He “came to himself.” He realized the miserable life he was living was worse than anything that the servants and ...
... turned off by the church at some time in the past. They may have even been hurt by the church sometime in the past, but they hunger for God. Maybe they hunger for God because they’ve seen the bankruptcy of other approaches to life. They’re disgusted by the hedonism and the materialism of our greater society. They want values solid, life-changing values. They want something they can depend on as they wend their way through life. And we, the church of Jesus Christ, need to reach out to them. We need to ...
... to be a sports fan. One man tells about his father who, he says, is an avid football fan. During a recent season his team got off to a poor start. Almost every Sunday afternoon Dad sat depressed, ranting at the TV screen. One day, after shouts of disgust, silence fell. Puzzled, his wife went into the living room to find him quietly watching a World War II movie. “I just switched over to something that I knew our side would win!” his Dad explained. (5) Jesus doesn’t want more fans. Fans are with you ...
... supplies, a ride, cash-on-hand. He knows where to stay and who to contact. Yet this well-heeled Samaritan is the hero of Jesus’ story. In his riveting tale of the “rich man and Lazarus” (Luke 16;19-31), Jesus elevates a disgustingly diseased, poor, wretched individual above the status of an honored, revered, rich man. But for Jesus the ultimate testing ground is not economically based. Here in the “Good Samaritan” parable the righteous, kingdom-embracing individual is not only a Samaritan, but is ...
... entertaining a group of first-century men who are accustomed to having women treat them like masters. And it’s even worse if you have a good-for-nothing sister who lollygags with the men and refuses to help. Excuse me. Am I taking sides? Martha is thoroughly disgusted with Mary and she makes her displeasure with her sibling known. She comes to Jesus and asks, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” Some of you are inwardly thinking to yourself ...
... put new wine into old wineskins. The new wine of a living relationship with Christ can’t ever be contained in the old wineskin of dead religion for very long. We tend to look at the Israelites in this episode of their journey with at least a hint of disgust. Such a perspective on their huge blunder would be easy to develop. We say they should have known better, and Aaron should have known better. Before we cast judgment on what he and the others did on that sad day, we do well to see that what happened to ...
... Do not heed by whom a thing is said, but rather what is said you should commit to memory.” Or in the words of the great philosopher Alfred North Whitehead, “Great ideas enter into reality with evil associates and with disgusting alliances. But the greatness remains.” Jesus’ strange and startling parable illustrated both for his disciples who were listening and for the eavesdropping religious establishment, that there is a definite distinction between a life lived fixated upon the needs to survive ...
... know there’s more awaiting them on the journey, but they think they’ve reached the conclusion and at this point they’ve got every earthly reason to forsake their former direction. Maybe when they exited Jerusalem’s gate, they even turned back with a gesture of disgust and said, “That’s it. We’re outta’ here!” Even though they don’t know it, they’re still on the road with Jesus. He just walks up and joins them but for the moment as the grammar of verse 16 implies,[1] God keeps them from ...
... Larson tells a story of a bright young woman named Marian, who was working her way through college by cleaning the dorm rooms of her fellow students. She was often annoyed by their inability to say “thank you” or “please.” One day she got so disgusted and disillusioned that she was ready to quit. She went to see her professor, Robert Coles. She said, “I’ve been taking all of these philosophy courses and we talk about what’s true, what’s important, what’s good. Well, how do you teach people ...
... It’s like a story that is told about Abraham Lincoln. According to this story, Lincoln once visited a slave auction. He went to observe, not to participate. He watched the unspeakable indignities of selling and buying human beings. His response was a mixture of disgust, sadness and outrage. As he stood there a young woman was brought to the block, her eyes and body language screaming defiance and hatred. She had been used and abused by her previous owners and now it was going to happen all over again. The ...