I finally got a copy of the Rules of Life. We all want them because we think that having a set of rules for life will make life so much easier and less confusing. Just find the twelve rules and follow them and it will take away a lot of worry and agony out of life. So I was excited when I got them. I do not know who made them up, but I got them by e-mail off the Internet, so I know that makes them official. The Twelve Rules of Life: Never give yourself a haircut after three drinks. There are only two tools ...
I read a book with pen in hand, my eye peeled for typographical errors. The more expensive the book, the more prestigious the publisher, the greater the joy in finding an error. Most people see me reading with a pen in hand, they think I am underlining important passages. They say, "Look, Mark's a scholar." I read with a pen so I can circle the mistakes other people make. I mark them indelibly in ink. I do this for revenge. In another church, there was a man who would meet me following the service with the ...
Rejoice! It's the mandatory mantra of Christmas. After all, there are brightly colored lights, beautiful decorations, great sales, parties, programs, and parades. What's not to be joyful about? But the flip side of the holiday season is a dour, depressive mood that settles on Christian and non-Christian alike. For the studious and the dubious, joy become mere jocularity, praise is only uttered by those who close their minds to realty, and thankfulness is just middle-class relief that life is still going on ...
An increasing number of responsible pet owners have now “micro-chipped” their dogs and cats. A small “chip” is injected under the skin and when a special scanner is run over the chip, the creature’s whole history is made available—-pet’s name, owner’s name, home address, home phone, vet’s name, vet’s phone, medications taken. It’s all there. Most animal shelters now have these scanners. When a lost or wandering animal is brought in, “scanning” is the first procedure. Often the “lost” is “found,” ...
Have you heard the story about a little girl named Mikki who was walking down the sidewalk with her mother one day? They were walking together, (mom and daughter) holding hands. As they walk along, little Mikki asks: “Mommy, what is God?” Her mother answers: “Well, Mikki, God is the creative force, the first cause, the unmoved mover, the unseen primal producer of existence, the binding, sentient energy which underpins all physical manifestation, the…” At this point, the little girl interrupts. “Mommy, ...
Her name was Mary Lou. His name was Tom. There were both in their 80’s and they were celebrating their 60th Wedding Anniversary. A news reporter was there to cover the big event and he asked this question: “Mr. Tom, so many marriages are failing today… and yet here you and your wife are celebrating 60 years together. How did you do it? What is your secret?” Mr. Tom didn’t even have to think for a minute how to answer that question. Without a moment of hesitation, Mr. Tom said with a warm smile: “Well, the ...
There are over two hundred geysers in Yellow Stone National Park. But there is one geyser that stands out from all the others. It is not the largest geyser, nor does it reach the greatest height. Yet it is by far the most popular geyser. Its popularity is due to one thing—its dependability. Because once every sixty-five minutes it shoots a stream of boiling water over 170 ft. into the air. You can practically set your clock by it. They call it "Old Faithful." There are many things in life that you could ...
I heard about a flight instructor that was sitting next to his student in their single engine plane, when he said, "Well, I think it's time to take her in for a landing. Are you ready to go down?" The student said, "No problem, let's do it." Well, as they were approaching the runway, the instructor looked at his student and noticed how calm he was. Normally, students who are coming in for their first landing were nervous, wide-eyed, and sweating bullets. But this young man was as cool as the other side of ...
I have been preaching through the 23rd Psalm, and I have entitled this series of messages “Good Vibrations.” Good vibrations are important. Dr. Michael Jacobson cited a recent study in which patients were asked to recall various types of emotional experiences, while doctors monitored their physiological reactions. They were first asked to recall an argument in which they became very angry or frustrated. The patient was to relive that experience in their mind for five minutes. The doctors noted that these ...
Hear we are on the Sunday before Thanksgiving, and I wonder if you feel very thankful. Some would reply, “Brother Bill, some of us are more thankful than others. It depends on one’s circumstances.” You know, it’s easy to celebrate Thanksgiving when your family is healthy, your income is ample, your stocks are ascending, your favorite team is headed to a bowl game, your sinuses have overcome the Memphis grunge, and your aches and pains are minimal. But that kind of thanksgiving can be awfully superficial. ...
There is always a letdown the week after Christmas. How could it be otherwise? Christmas demands so much of us. Now it’s back to the humdrum of ordinary living. Plus a few extra bills to pay and a few extra pounds to work off. Some unknown author spoke for many of us: Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste. All the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number ...
Lk 3:7-18 · Phil 4:4-7 · Zeph 3:14-20 · Isa 12:2-6
Sermon Aid
John R. Brokhoff
COMMENTARY Old Testament: Zephaniah 3:14-20 Rejoice, for Yahweh will restore his people to their homeland. This is the only use of Zephaniah in the three-year Lectionary. Zephaniah lived during the reign of Josiah in the seventh century, prior to the Babylonian captivity. Our pericope is considered an addition by an unknown author of the Deutero-Isaiah period. The passage gives good news of salvation to those in exile: a return to Jerusalem, victory over enemies, Yahweh in their midst, and renown among the ...
Paul had laid down the flail of the persecutor and took up the torch of the evangel on the Damascus Road. There he began the course of a great adventure, an adventure that sent him trudging through the then-known world – through the deserts and over the mountains, through blinding blizzard and blistering sun, traveling in peril of his own life, shipwrecked, beaten by the Romans, stoned by the Jew. Yet, throwing back his great cloak to show the scars of his beatings there saying, I bear in my body the marks ...
Edna Lashon tells the story of visiting with a friend of hers whose husband had died. They went out the graveyard where the husband had been buried and they began to share together memories of their life and their relationship it was a meaningful time as they probed in memory and got in touch with all the joyful times of their life. But then there was silence. No one seemed to have anything else to say. All of a sudden, Liz the little daughter of Edna Lashon’s friend, sprang from the group and suddenly ...
Belle Starr was one of the few women outlaws in the Old West, and so she gained widespread notoriety. One day, Judge Isaac Parker was attempting to try a case, but he couldn’t get the courtroom’s attention. Even the members of the jury had wandered from the jury box to stare out the courtroom windows. What was the source of all the excitement? Outlaw Belle Starr was riding by on her horse, and everyone in town wanted to catch a glimpse of her. The judge had to call a five-minute recess to deal with the ...
A few years back, I read about a group of three burglars in Vang, Norway, who tried to open a large safe in a small factory. They attached a small explosive device to the door of the safe and then hid in the next room until it went off. The explosion was so powerful that it demolished the whole building and left them buried under a pile of rubble. The ironic thing about was, the safe had never held any money. The company money was kept in a cash box in an unlocked desk drawer. But what they did keep in the ...
It's kind of silly now, nothing more than a fond memory that has been replaced by the deep love I have for my wife, Mary. But as a boy in the third and fourth grade it was major. It was no simple school boy crush. I was completely, madly, irrevocably head over heels in love with a girl by the name of Barbara Wissman. I remember one of our teachers reading Tom Sawyer to us. In my mind, I was her Tom Sawyer and she was my Becky Thatcher. When she walked into the room my heart would skip a beat. For a long ...
Have you ever noticed that, no matter what, that some people just always get it wrong? Paul Harvey, in his book FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, tells about a county jail in south Florida where jail officials found a plastic trash bag hanging to the bars of a cell. Inside was Jimmy Jones, a prisoner who hoped he'd get taken out with the trash. And he might have, except for one thing, during roll call his reflexes took over. When the name Jimmy Jones was called... From inside the bag came a muffled response: "Here." It ...
I ran across a story this week about a seven-year-old granddaughter who said to her grandfather, "In this family we are kind of serious about God, aren't we?" Grandpa said, "Yes, we sure are." And the little girl asked, "Why?" Grandpa wrapped the little girl in his arms, hugged her real close and said, "So that I can hug you and tickle you and try to tell you how much I love you and how glad I am that God gave you to us." The little girl grinned and said, "That's cool." I'm not sure that hugging and ...
There is a down home story about a small town veterinarian who had invented an instrument with which, he boasted, even a child could administer a capsule to a horse, no matter how unruly or reluctant the horse might be. One summer the vet went to county fair to demonstrate his new invention. They couldn’t find anyone who would permit his horse to be a part of the experiment, but they did find a mule, and soon a crowd had gathered to watch. Undaunted, the veterinarian inserted a long glass tube into the ...
My all time favorite story and one you have heard before, is the story about a little girl sitting in the family room one night drawing a picture. Noticing the intensity of his daughter's activity, her Dad asked, “What are you doing?" “I'm drawing a picture of God," replied the girl. “How can you do that?" inquired the Dad. “Nobody knows what God looks like?" Then with a smile on her face the girl said, “They will know when I finish my picture!" In a pluralistic society driven by uncertainty and relativity ...
Jesus' ministry and mission was shifting into high gear. Matthew reports that Jesus had gone about all the cities and villages teaching in their synagogues. But he had not just been preaching the gospel of the kingdom (Matthew 9:35a). It seems that Jesus had compassion on the crowd because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd (Matthew 9:36). Matthew reports that Jesus cured every disease and sickness he encountered (Matthew 9:35b). Our Lord was clearly trying to make a point about ...
Writer, Anne Lamott, tells of her struggle in getting her teenage son, Sam, to go to church with her. "Why do I make him go?" she reflects and then writes, "We live in bewildering, drastic times, and a little spiritual guidance never killed anyone. I think it's a fair compromise that every other week he has to come to the place that has been the tap for me: I want him to see the people who loved me when I felt most unlovable, who have loved him since I first told them that I was pregnant, even though he ...
Somebody once said: "We are all made of common clay and that is why we all have the same kinds of problems." But someone else said: "We're all created in the same mold, only some of us are moldier than others." (1) There is a place in India where their legends agree with the Bible that humankind was made from dust. But they think that the upper class (or caste) was made from the fertile soil and the lower class was made from ordinary clay. But even I know, if you are going to create pottery, you want ...
There was a young man named Fred, from the mountains of eastern Tennessee. He was the poster child for lazy and no-good. When he was called up for duty in the Army during the Vietnam War, Fred had high hopes that he would be exempted because of he had double vision. The doctor said, "See that chart on the wall over there?" "Not very well, Doc. It's all blurry," said Fred. "You've passed," said the doctor. Fred protested, "What do you mean I passed? How can I pass when I told you it's all blurry?" And the ...