When I was a boy, Mom and Dad would come home from the grocery store and unloaded the brown paper sacks of groceries. If we saw anything wrapped in butcher paper, we knew we were in for treat. That meant Dad was either going to barbecue or better yet, they had visited the lunch meat counter and brought home a bunch of fresh sliced lunch meat. But if we pulled out a long brown paper bread sack, we knew immediately that Mom and Dad had gone to one of the Jewish Delicatessens and inside was a fresh loaf of ...
In 1883 half of the Island of Krakatoa, between Indonesia and Australia, blew up in a great volcanic eruption. The other half of the Island was covered with volcanic ash. They say that in some places, that ash was 100 feet thick and blew on the winds as far as Madagascar across the Indian Ocean. It was the most violent volcanic explosion in the history of man. That beautiful island was destroyed. All the life, both human and animal, was killed. Yet ten years later, Krakatoa was once again green and ...
A ninety-six year old man won fifty million dollars in the lottery. When his family was notified, they called their pastor for help since they were afraid the news might cause the old fellow to have a heart attack. The pastor agreed to help. He went over to visit the elderly man. They talked about the weather and life in general. Finally the minister asked the old man, “Suppose you won fifty million dollars, how would that change your life?” “It wouldn’t,” said the man, “I would still have arthritis. I ...
Who is our newest parent here this morning? . . . How old is your baby? May I hold him/her? Let’s bow our heads and offer a prayer of blessing for this child . . . This little baby is embarking on a journey. And it’s an awesome journey to be a part of. All new parents here - is there anything as exciting as watching your baby go from a snuggly little lump you cradle in your arms to a roller, then a crawler, then a “cruiser,” and finally a walker? Babies seem absolutely driven to get on their feet. No ...
The Reverend Clyde Lott is a national champion cattle judge and livestock showman. He's also a preacher recognized by the National Pentecostal Assemblies of Jesus Christ. Reverend Lott is uniquely qualified, therefore, to breed "the heifer that will change the world," the heifer that will fulfill God's apocalyptic promise of purity for his people. We're talking holy cow, here. Reverend Lott is anxiously waiting for the rapture of the church, because he doesn't want to be left behind. He believes the ...
A Vacation Bible School teacher, one summer, taught class on Judas' betrayal of Jesus. After the lesson, she went over the review questions and asked, "Who betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver?" Without hesitating, her 7-year-old son replied, "I know! It was 'Judas the Scariest!' " (1) For me Judas was the Scariest disciple of all. He's the most frightening character of the entire Passion story. He's more frightening than Pilate or Herod or Caiaphas and the other accusers. To me, Judas is even more ...
There was a story on the Internet recently that proves rednecks aren’t confined to the southern part of the United States. According to this story a man in Australia was fined after police discovered that he had used a seat belt to buckle in a case of beer while his five-year-old son was consigned to playing in the car’s floor totally unprotected. Constable Wayne Burnett said he was “shocked and appalled” when he pulled over the car one Friday in the Australian town of Alice Springs. A 30-can beer case was ...
In the old Soviet Union it was common for people who had fallen out of favor with the communist regime to also fall out of photographs. Long before digital photography made it easy to change our memories, a little air brushing could remove an inconvenient commissar who had been purged since the last worker's holiday. Indeed, Soviet watchers would study every photograph published in newspapers and journals to determine the rise and fall of cold warriors. The Soviet Union didn't have the corner on the ...
Two young men walk into church. They both are the same age -22, same height, same weight, and same build. The first young man walks in with a crisply starched long-sleeved Polo shirt, freshly ironed slacks, clean-cut, fresh-shaven, and wearing shoes in the latest style. The second male walks in wearing a t-shirt, blue-jeans with more holes than pockets, flip-flops, tattoos on both arms, a nose-ring and orange hair. Immediately, if we are honest, most of us would look at the first male and think, “He needs ...
Today we’re going to talk about casting out demons or, as Mark calls them in today’s lesson, impure spirits. It’s not a subject that we talk about very much in church anymore, even though it figures prominently in the New Testament. Maybe at the end of today’s service I will perform an exorcism and cast out a demon . . . or not. Perhaps you have someone in mind that you think could profit from such an exorcism. But enough about members of Congress . . . Some of you will remember a movie that caused quite a ...
Without even trying kids can teach us some of the greatest life lessons and when you are a kid you learn some of the greatest lessons in life. I want to share with you a lesson that I learned as a child. It all revolves around this gift [open gift – take out gumballs and a Milky Way]. Now here is the story behind this gum and this candy bar. When I was a child, I had saved enough money to do something I had never done before at Christmas which was to buy my parents a Christmas gift. I had saved up a dollar ...
Welcome on this Father’s Day 2015. We know that not every Dad is a great Dad. And yet we know that some of the men in this church have committed themselves to being great Dads, and we want to give them the recognition they deserve. According to one expert, children go through 4 stages of dealing with their fathers. In stage one, they call you da-da. In stage 2 they grow and call you Daddy. As they mature and reach stage 3 they call you Dad. Finally in stage 4 they call you collect. A certain mother tells ...
Watch Out for False Teachers Peter began this letter by speaking of the divine provision for a godly life (1:1–11). He went on to stress the divine inspiration of Scripture truths (1:12–21). Now he warns against those who are threatening the church’s spiritual well being by the way they falsely treat these matters (2:1–22). 2:1 In some respects times do not change. All prophecy, whoever gives it and in whatever circumstances, needs to be interpreted. Furthermore, just as in the period of the OT there were ...
In his book The Mustard Seed Conspiracy, Tom Sine shares the story of his parents’ friends and their love for gathering wild mushrooms. One weekend this couple came home with several baskets of mushrooms. Realizing the impossibility of being able to consume all the mushrooms by themselves, they decided to invite others over to their house for a mushroom party. The turn-out was terrific, and they had a wonderful time eating mushroom crepes, omelets, and soufflés. They ate until they could not eat another ...
I shall never forget a most vivid pastoral encounter that I had. There was a fine older member of the church who was terminally ill with cancer, and since he would never be able to come and meet me, I went by his home to meet him. Although we had never met before, I suppose my role prompted him to get right to the central issue of his concern at that moment, which was with the whole experience of death. He wanted to know what I believed lay beyond the experience of dying. He was concerned about guilt and ...
It seems strange that New Year’s Eve should fall on a Sunday. But that, of course, is what today is. Many of you are looking forward to New Year’s Eve parties. I’ve always appreciated writer Bill Vaughan’s words: “Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.” I won’t ask how late some of you will be up. Some of you will celebrate via your television. I also like what some comedian said about that. He said, “I love it when they drop the ball in Times ...
Several years ago, a radio station ran a contest. Disc jockeys invited their listeners to tune in their clock radios. "Just for fun," they said, "when you wake up to the sound of FM-106, call and tell us the first words you spoke when you rolled out of bed. If you're the third caller, you'll win $106." It didn't take long for the contest to grow in enthusiasm. The first morning, a buoyant disc jockey said, "Caller number three, what did you say when you rolled out of bed this morning?" A groggy voice said ...
Animation: paycheck (month) or $2000-$3000 in cash [Hold up the check or cash.] I’m holding here a paycheck for $3,000. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, that’s an approximate month’s take-home salary for an average American today. $4,000 gross. $3,000 net. Some of you probably make more than that, some less. But that’s the national average for 2015. At the dawn of the first century, an average wage for an Israelite would have been the equivalent of about 7 or 8 silver shekels per month (in ...
The word of the Lord Almighty came to me. This is what the Lord Almighty says: “The fasts of the fourth, fifth, seventh and tenth months will become joyful and glad occasions and happy festivals for Judah. Therefore, love truth and peace.” This is what the Lord Almighty says: “Many peoples and the inhabitants of many cities will yet come, and the inhabitants of one city will go to another and say, ‘Let us go at once to entreat the Lord and seek the Lord Almighty. I myself am going.’ And many peoples and ...
This week marks the point in the year when most of us have wrapped up our summer vacation plans, and we’re getting back to our normal routines of work. Let’s all share a collective sigh as we say goodbye to summer vacation. I don’t know how much planning you put into your vacation. Some people like to go to the same places every year. Some people like to pack up and head out for a weekend, just to clear their heads. And some people spend hours, even weeks, obsessing over the perfect trip. But we all share ...
If you’ve ever sweated through a job interview, then you know what it’s like to hold your breath as you wait for that next question. Will it be something off-the-wall that you can’t possibly answer . . . Or will it be a perfectly reasonable question . . . but one that will cause your mind to go blank the minute the interviewer asks it? Maybe you heard the story of a young woman who was interviewing for admission into a top business school. The head professor began the interview. “We can ask you ten easy ...
Once there was a Baptist minister and humorist named Grady Nutt. Grady could tell some of the most hilarious stories. One of Grady’s classic stories was of a seminary student who pastored a rural church on the weekends. Word came to this student preacher that a man in his church had died. Could he come and conduct the funeral? The young preacher had never done a funeral before, but after receiving counsel from one of his seminary professors about how to proceed, he drove out to the home of the man who had ...
I’ve got a pop quiz for you today: how many steps does it take to walk around the world? Since we aren’t Jesus and can’t walk on water, we are excluding oceans and major bodies of water. Well, there is a website that measures such achievements as walking around the world. According to their calculation, it takes the average person around 20 million steps to make that walk. Can your Fitbit register 20 million steps? Or would it melt down after about 10 million? Among the handful of people who have proof ...
On this third Sunday of Advent, we hear again from Paul’s letter to the believers at Philippi. Many scholars believe that he wrote this letter from prison, perhaps even during his last prison term in Rome, before his death, but we don’t know for sure. It’s clear that he wrote from a prison cell somewhere, and that he wrote about his deeply held idea of cultivating joy in all things. Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Do not ...
In Bil Keane's FAMILY CIRCUS, little Billy is watching television. The speaker boldly says, "Remember this, my friends, great things never happen until some person in this world makes them happen." Billy's mind gets to thinking about the snow, the reflection of the moon on the lake at night, the waves crashing at the beach, a butterfly breaking out of its cocoon, a gorgeous sunset and a beautiful waterfall and then he says, "Oh, yeah?" (1) Billy had the youthful wisdom to give credit where credit is due, ...