... . It is recommended that each member of the clerical staff bring four pounds of coal each day during the cold weather. No member of the clerical staff may leave the room without permission from the supervisor. No talking is allowed during business hours. The craving for tobacco, wine, or spirits is a human weakness, and as such is forbidden to all members of the clerical staff. Now that the hours of business have been drastically reduced, the partaking of food is allowed between 11:30 and noon, but work ...
277. Marriage Q & A Session
Humor Illustration
... wife is in labor? A. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you. Q. What's the difference between a nine-months pregnant woman and a Playboy centerfold? A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him. Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving? A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant. Q. Will I love my dog less when the baby is born? A. No, but your husband might get on your nerves
278. Want Milk?
Humor Illustration
Dear Telly, My milk cow has cut down on the amount of milk she gives. It gets a little less every day. Can you tell me how to make her give more milk? Farmer in Fresno Dear Farmer, Yes, I can. Hang a big sign on the barn door that says, "I love milk. It takes away my craving for beef." Sincerely, Telly D. Truth
... that immediately transport us to Bethlehem as surely as the star did to the shepherds and the Magi. But is there a Bethlehem without that heavenly choir and heralding angel, or a silent night without those smelly shepherds and whiffs of straw? We also crave the tastes of the season. The Food Network makes a mint on marketing Christmas goodies: sweets and savories, down-home or up-scale. Christmas memories taste fresh out of the oven and they taste specially imported once a year. Our Advent touch is both ...
... plumbing. When a big blow shuts off the power and we are suddenly stranded in the dark we immediately go looking for a light. The first person who forges out into the dark and finds the flashlight is appreciated, but it is the light itself that everyone craves. This Advent season, bear the light. Don’t be the light. Don’t seek the spotlight. Bear the light. So that Jesus can . . . . Shine, Jesus, Shine. We don’t need more of the spirit of Christmas. We need more of the Spirit of Christ. In the words ...
... a new year. Yes, this is a year where we might have to take off a few pounds, a year when we will definitely have to pay our taxes. But how will we prophesy our way forward into 2012? What do we hope for in 2012? What does your soul crave for this coming year? Will you do anything about it? Will you throw your hat over the fence? A farmer asked his son to remove the boards from a six foot high fence that needed repair. When the farmer went to check on his son, the young man, wearing his ...
... his missing mom. Having no clue what his mother may look like, the fledgling approaches dogs and cats, trucks and boats, and finally a huge steam shovel (who deftly dumps him safely back into his nest), earnestly asking each one, “Are you my mother?” We all crave a mother’s presence and pine for a mother’s love. This Sunday, the second Sunday in May, has been officially designated as “Mother’s Day” since May 9, 1914. But in England as far back as the 1600’s there has been a tradition of a ...
... idols are such brain-eating, soul-sucking invaders as . . . 1) the idol of money — the conviction that cold, hard cash should be the only motivation behind every action taken, every decision made. 2) the idol of celebrity — which creates a constant craving for center-stage and ceaseless need for attention and acceptance. 3) the idol of power — which rejects all limitations and pretends to wield complete control. 4) the idol of fashion — did you know we in the US buy 20 billion garments annually ...
... must be "the prophet who is to come into the world." But this insight is focused on the physical and political. The people assume that the miraculous power that can appease their physical hunger should also be used to fulfill their political cravings for a new national identity and freedom. John reveals this hunger in yet another aside into Jesus' personal insight. The well-fed crowd hasn't experienced any spiritual fulfillment. Instead this meal has whetted their appetite for political power. For dessert ...
... must be "the prophet who is to come into the world." But this insight is focused on the physical and political. The people assume that the miraculous power that can appease their physical hunger should also be used to fulfill their political cravings for a new national identity and freedom. John reveals this hunger in yet another aside into Jesus' personal insight. The well-fed crowd hasn't experienced any spiritual fulfillment. Instead this meal has whetted their appetite for political power. For dessert ...
... one brilliant flash of light, can bring hours of blackness because of power outages. If you’ve been left in the dark lately you know how everyone immediately hones in on the person with the flashlight. In dark and scary times we crave the light. These are dark and scary times. The economies of powerful countries, and the empty, dark interiors of our own wallets, are frighteningly fragile. The temperatures keep rising, crops keep failing, and futures look fractured. Employment statistics are grim, and more ...
... participants up into groups of four and instructed them to confide in one another. In one group, a rabbi broke the ice by saying, "I'll begin by sharing one of my most disturbing problems. Occasionally I slip out of town and give in to my craving for pork - I stuff myself with bacon, sausage, ham, pork chops, and sometimes even babyback ribs." At this point, a Roman Catholic priest confided he, too, had a similar problem during Lent and occasionally slipped away to enjoy a medium-rare T-bone steak. There ...
... -ness. We think solitude is solitary. The truth is solitude is relationally charged, since it is time alone with God, which is the relationship for which we were created. Outside the garden the rest of humanity has a fractured view of solitude and aloneness. We crave the internet connection because we think that when the power goes off . . . the power goes off. Not so. When we stand before our Creator, the power goes on full force. The power of connection. The power of relationship. The power of love. If we ...
Psalm 126:1-6, Isaiah 43:16-21, John 12:1-11, Philippians 3:4b-14
Bulletin Aid
Julia Ross Strope
... . So our prayer is that you enable all humankind to share the available water, oil, and grain. Let it begin with us. Majestic God — like the psalmist, we admire the oceans, the sand, and the rocks, and we imagine romantic things about the ocean and sky! We crave vacations from our work days to relax in the beauty of creation. Thank you for holding it all together. We admire the bodies we have, too. We’re glad when they function well and we retreat to physicians when they are off balance. We pray for ...
... ; grow us with thoughts and experiences to appreciate who you are shaping us to be. Some of us function as guides to others; give us discerning ears; give us artful tongues; guide us to compassionate responses. God of Salads and Herbs — we crave happiness and health, satisfying days and comfortable nights. We pine for painless movement and cheerful attitudes. Jesus reminded his listeners to make plans, to make choices, and to be alert to the consequences of decisions. Amplify our minds so we can conceive ...
... 3:1) Worship is the acknowledgment of my deepest heart need. The psalmist wrote, “My heart says to you ‘Seek his face!’ Your face, Lord, I will seek” (Psalm 27:8 NIV). I long for him. I hope for him. I seek for him. The inner part of my life craves to be filled with the Spirit of God. That’s the essence of worship! To worship is to quicken the conscience by the holiness of God, to feed the mind with the truth of God, to purge the imagination by the beauty of God, to open the heart to the ...
... about our relationship to money. How does our faith affect our money? We must have money. We cannot completely banish it from our lives. We have to deal with money. How do we use our money? In the abstract, it is easy to preach against greed, against craving money. Money problems do not come to us in the abstract. Money problems are quite concrete. A bill that arrives in the mail is quite concrete. The price of gas is very concrete (and rising!). We have to make certain decisions about money. We can do only ...
... tempted? That, of course, is the genius of Alcoholics Anonymous. They are there for each other in times of temptation. Many times in the middle of the night a member of this group will be called to sit with a buddy and help him fight the cravings that would destroy him. Members of Alcoholics Anonymous also know what it is to rely on God. They know that the key to turning their lives around is admitting their weakness, admitting that they were, are, and always will be powerless over alcohol. But they believe ...
When we find ourselves in the wrong place, taking a wrong turn or making a wrong decision, we say we have gotten “off track.” Whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, we feel disquieted outside familiar, customary territory. We crave comfort food and the well-worn paths taken with friends and family to help us get back “on track.” In today’s gospel text Luke takes an event that would have made Jesus seem radically “off track” — visiting the home of a Roman centurion, a Gentile soldier ...
... ? ____________________________ COMMENTARY When we find ourselves in the wrong place, taking a wrong turn or making a wrong decision, we say we have gotten “off track.” Whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, we feel disquieted outside familiar, customary territory. We crave comfort food and the well-worn paths taken with friends and family to help us get back “on track.” In today’s gospel text Luke takes an event that would have made Jesus seem radically “off track” — visiting the ...
... . People do not always pay attention to servants; the term is frequently viewed in negative light. Unfortunately sometimes those attitudes creep into the church when people insist on their own way disregarding other people’s feelings and ideas. People within the congregation who crave power and control always do more harm than good. We should know our place; we are servants of Jesus Christ. Our agenda is to do the will of the master — Jesus. With everything we say or do we point not to ourselves but ...
... him. In fact, they hadn’t seen him for several days. Jittery, they began to think that he wouldn’t ever return to them. They may have convinced themselves that the fire had consumed him, leaving them all alone. Like all of us, the Israelites craved a relationship with God. They showed their eagerness to devote themselves to God by signing on immediately to worship Him alone and to live according to his ways (Exodus 24:3). Once Moses presented the Ten Commandments to them, they immediately agreed to live ...
... it right now. We pay big bucks in order to slice away seconds. Super satellite hook-ups or muscle-bound bandwidths are the new gold standard. We cannot sit and wait while information is downloaded. We cannot live with a weak or wavering signal. We crave full power and instant access to the online world all the time — wherever we are. Jesus’ mission and ministry was also all about trying to connect disciples to a new world. Of course, Jesus wasn’t trying to get his followers booted-up onto the “world ...
... like being forever trying to join that most popular “clique” in junior high and high school. As soon as you “join in” it’s no longer the coolest, latest thing. Sometimes the most relevant is not the most recent but the most ancient. We all crave being part of something bigger than ourselves. We are all torn between wanting to find our way and wanting to fit in. Human beings are social by nature. But there is a fine line between “social networking” and a “herd mentality.” The clique culture ...
... Be” and “Let It Be” Light. New Year’s celebrations start out with an extravagant show of lights. Fireworks and festivities around glowing balls are showcased in the most famous New Years’ parties. At the darkest time of the year we crave flashes of light—momentary glimmerings of a future that is to come. We dream of a light-infused future. Unfortunately a significant number of wonderful people suffer from a malady now known as “SAD”—“Seasonal Affective Disorder.” This is a genuine ...