The line at the Post Office was of a December length, too long really to wait for such a simple errand. But there he was. When he got to the window he asked for a sheet of Christmas stamps. The clerk proffered a brightly colored set showing lots of candles and emblazoned with the word “Kwanzaa.” “No,” he said, “I’d like some Christmas stamps.” The clerk did a sort of ‘oh-h-h yeah’ thing and rummaged around in the supply and pulled out some jolly snowmen and made ready to ring up the transaction. “No,” he ...
A little boy was in church one Sunday morning with his grandmother. Everything went well until it was time for the offering. The grandmother began to frantically search through her purse, but she couldn’t find her offering envelope. Apparently she had left it at home. It was a most embarrassing moment for her as she kept looking through her purse for something to put in the collection plate. Her grandson sensed her dilemma. The little boy had a solution to her problem. “Here, Gramma,” he told her, “you ...
I want to tell you a simple, but moving story about a man named Bill. When Bill was born in the 1930s he was diagnosed with cerebral palsy. The doctor predicted that he would be mentally retarded and urged Bill’s parents to have him institutionalized. Fortunately, they ignored the doctor’s advice. At first, Bill attended a school for children with disabilities. Later he gained entrance to a mainstream high school. This was an unusual accomplishment for a physically challenged person of that era. Then, with ...
A pollster was taking a survey of how much of people''s income goes to different kinds of spending. The person being interviewed said, "I spend 40 percent of my income on housing, 20 percent on clothing, 40 percent on food, and 20 percent on transportation and amusement." The pollster said, "But sir, that adds up to 120 percent." The reply was, "I know it!" Some of us, when the credit card bills come due, are probably discovering that we are spending at least 100 percent of our income. As one man put it, " ...
SUBJECT: Men and women, stereotypes CHARACTERS: Woman, man SETTING: Living room PROPS: Sofa or chairs for them to sit in Woman: "It feels so good to finally sit down!" Man: "I told you so. You should have been sitting down all along like me." Woman: "Then how would all this housework have been done?" Man: "Cleanliness is overrated, my love. If men ruled the world, we''d never even bother with stuff like lint." Woman: "No, you''d wait until all the lint formed great, big dust bunnies, and ...
SUBJECT: Christmas, unexpected, gifts CHARACTERS: Mother, Son (10 to 14 years old) PROPS: None SETTING: Home (Mother walks in on moping son) Mother: Hi, sweetie. What''s the matter? Son: Nothing Mother: Is all this Christmas cheer just too much? You want to balance it with a good old-fashioned gripe session? Son: I don''t know. (Pause) Mother: Whenever you want to talk . . . Son: They got me a savings bond. Mother: What? Son: Grandma and Grandad. They got me a savings bond for Christmas. ...
A fellow was on an airplane flight home one afternoon. He sat in the non-smoking section, as he always did. This day he was seated on the aisle of the plane. After the plane had taken off the man across from him took out one of those little short cigars that look like compressed leather. He lit up and started puffing noxious black smoke into the air. The first man leaned across the aisle and said, “I’m sorry, sir, but this is the non-smoking section. You can’t smoke here.” The smoker just ignored him, and ...
"On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding." (John 2:1-2) It is doubtful than John the Baptist would have been invited. He of the harsh garments of camel's hair and the strange diet of locusts and wild honey. (Although the word translated "locust" in the Gospels probably refers to the fruit of the carob tree.) John was a thundering prophet, austere and ascetic, far removed from the ordinary events ...
I have always felt sorry for Lazarus. I mean, dying once is bad enough; but this poor fellow had to go through the whole ordeal a second time! And for what? At first glance, it seems as though he was recalled to this earth for the mere purpose of fortifying his sister’s faith. Then he would have to go through the process of dying once again. We are all familiar with the story. Jesus receives the news while He is in Perea that His friend Lazarus is ill. He says, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I ...
“But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (the one who was about to betray him), said, Why was this perfume not sold for three hundred denarii and the money given to the poor?’ “ (John 12:4-6) You’ve got to admit that Judas had a point. His was the voice of sweet reasonableness. “Let’s not let ourselves get carried away,” he said, “Let’s not jump off the deep end. This is wasteful extravagance. This costly perfume could be sold and the money given to the poor.” Never mind that the author of the Fourth ...
Judas Iscariot has always been an enigma to us. One preacher, writing many years ago said, “No minister, at the time of his ordination, ever entertained more pleasing prospects for a brilliant career than had Judas Iscariot.” For one thing, Judas was given a good name. The names Judas means “praise of God.” One of the eleven sons of Jacob bore that name. So did one of the brothers of Jesus; the one who, by tradition, wrote the book of Jude in the New Testament. He was probably named after one of the most ...
Will Rogers once said that “a lot of what everybody knows ain’t so!” Nowhere is that more true than in the realm of Biblical scholarship. From my research in the gospel of John and many visits to the holy land I have discovered that a lot of what biblical scholars and commentators appear to know for sure seems doubtful at best, and downright wrong in some places. For instance, not too many years ago it was an accepted axiom among Biblical scholars that the author of the Fourth Gospel always tended to “ ...
Rejection can be one of the most painful experiences any of us can have. Ralph Keyes in his book “Is There Life after High School?” writes that Mia Farrow has never forgotten the time every girl but Mia was asked to dance. Nor has Charles Schulz of “Peanuts” cartoon fame ever forgotten that the yearbook staff rejected his every cartoon. Movie actress Ali McGraw confesses she doesn’t forget the fact that she never had one date in all of high school. Henry Kissinger is best remembered by his classmates as ...
I read somewhere that a new Guinness World Record has been set for the world’s shortest sermon. An Episcopal priest stood up one Sunday morning, walked to his pulpit, stood there for a moment, and said one word: “LOVE.” Then he sat down. I know, some of you would like me to attempt a sermon like that one day. But it is not that easy. The word “love” is capable of many different meanings. Love is what a mother gives to her children. Love is what a thrice-divorced Hollywood actress is supposed to have for a ...
In one of his books, A Scent of Love, Keith Miller tells the true story of a mother who took her children to the Animal Farm - a place where they could pet the animals that roamed free and even ride an elephant. Not finding a conventional parking space, the mother parked their little red Volkswagen “beetle” on a little paved apron on the path that led to the ranger station. Then they went out and had a great time. Realizing later, however, that the day had gotten away from them and they were supposed to ...
I am indebted to my son-in-law, the Rev. Frank Lyman, pastor of Lake Harbor United Methodist Church in Muskegon for my opening story. It seems that there was an unusual story on radio station WGN awhile back. A fellow sat down and ate 874 Walleye minnows at one sitting. That’s a lot of Walleye minnows! Why did he do such a strange thing? Because earlier in his life he had sat down and eaten 862 Walleye minnows and his accomplishment was listed in the Guinness Book of World Records. So he set out to break ...
A Roman Catholic priest in Dayton, Ohio, recently defied his archbishop by denying communion to worshipers who did not observe a dress code. For several years he had denied the sacraments to anyone who came to church in “shorts, bare midriffs, tank tops, jeans, and sweatshirts.” Finally, the archbishop retired the 73-year old priest for defying his authority. The priest said: “I do not hate the archbishop. I have only pity for him, since he will have to face an angry Christ in judgment.” (Christian Century ...
Dr. Carlyle Marney was one of the great preachers in the South during the time after the Second World War. He was a mentor and role model to many pastors. One of the stories attributed to the rich legacy he left behind took place on a seminary campus where he was invited to be the speaker for a distinguished lectureship. One of the students asked, "Dr. Marney let us hear you say a word or two about the meaning of the resurrection." It was a fair question and an appropriate one from a future preacher to one ...
The Reverend Dr. John Killinger, who is an outstanding preacher and distinguished Christian author, shares a prayer that he designed for a Communion Service when he was senior pastor of the First Presbyterian Church in Lynchburg, Virginia, shares this thought: "Lord, we thank you for this table, which is more important than any other table in the world, even the table of kings and emperors where lands have been divided and the tables of soldiers and generals where peace has been designed. For here, O Lord ...
Somewhere in the west, a recent university graduate could not find employment. He was highly skilled and his grades had been excellent. But no employment was to be found. Finally, in disgust and anger, he mailed his diploma back to the president of the university from which he had graduated. "Take this thing back," he wrote. "It has done me absolutely no good. There are no guarantees in a college degree any more." The president read his note, and mailed the diploma back to the young man with these words: " ...
Dr. Harold Brack, the much beloved professor of Speech and Communications at Drew Theological Seminary, often shared with us that there are some Biblical texts which should be approached with great awe and reverence and preached only with fear and trembling, because no matter how much we share, it is only a glimpse or a snapshot of a much greater picture of truth. St. Jerome once said, "The Bible is like a stream in which elephants must swim and lambs may wade." This is especially true of this passage. As ...
For those in our church family who have not been able to be with us these past three Sundays, we are in the midst of a Lenten sermon series using the imagery of Fasting and Feasting to draw closer to the will of God and to draw closer to Christ by having a closer walk with Him. By using the Word of God and appropriate stories of faith and illustrations, I have urged us and guided us to fast those attitudes, values, words, and lifestyles that are an insult to the Holiness of God, and because there is now a ...
Some events in life are bigger than we are able to fully comprehend. We understand, but our understanding of the event continues to enlarge. No matter what we do, some of life''s events escape an adequate celebration. When I finished at Drew Theological Seminary, I thought that I should be able to find some way to celebrate that moment. Fifteen long years have now passed and I never could find a way to adequately celebrate how I felt graduating Magna Cum Laude with a Master''s of Divinity Degree. That''s ...
Bill Cosby has suggested that Father's Day is almost as exciting as Ground Hog Day. Among the many problems that he discloses about this observance is the issue of buying a present for Dad. Among the dumbest gifts that Cosby has received on this day of obligatory recognition is soap-on-a-rope-- a remembrance which ranks slightly higher than the time he received a thousand yards of dental floss. There have been other thoughtful gifts, such as a sweater in June (it was on sale), the hedge cutters, weed ...
It was our first night in the new parsonage. The November sky was filled with heavy clouds which prevented any moonlight or starlight from breaking through the shutters on our sliding glass door. It was as dark a night as I can ever recall. Cheryl had claimed her side of the bed – the one with easiest access to the bathroom, and I joyfully claimed my side of the bed. After a day of unloading and unpacking, we fell asleep, exhausted, but content in our new home. As sometimes happens to middle aged men, I ...