"It all started long before I came," said the Reverend Jason Kirk. Kirk is the fictional pastor of the Clyde's Corner Church in a parable by Thomas H. Troeger. The founder of Clyde's Corner, Cedric Clyde was a successful farmer at the turn of the century. To show his thanks to God, he paid for the building of the local church. Just before Cedric died, he donated to the church a lot of furniture for the parlor and one item for the raised chancel behind the pulpit: "a giant red horsehair couch whose rich ...
Quite possibly the largest mausoleum in the world is the Taj Mahal. Under construction from 1632 to 1645, that oversized tombstone required over 20,000 men in the process of construction. It took 76 years to build the Great Pyramids of Egypt near Cairo. It required 7-1/2 years for Solomon ™s temple to be built. Ten thousand men were used in the process of cutting timber from Lebanon. Another 70,000 men were used for carrying the wood and constructing the temple, and another 20,900 men were used as ...
It was a once in a lifetime vacation trip for Robert Daley. He and his wife were driving through parts of Europe. While in France they stopped in the village of Colombey. The little town of about 350 people has gray stone homes lining the street with a gray stone church in the center. The town itself is indistinguishable from many other French villages. Something in the village caught the Daley's attention that day, however. They noticed the church cemetery was filled with people. It was so crowded that ...
There are many legends in many cultures concerning how certain flowers came into existence. Germany has a legend which tells about the origin of the primrose. Apparently Saint Peter once heard a rumor that some wayward souls were trying to slip into the back door of heaven rather than entering through the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter got so upset by this that he dropped his keys; whereupon they fell to earth and grew into primroses. Then there is a Persian legend about the origin of tulips. A young man named ...
Southern Californians were awakened earlier this year by an earthquake. Last fall Midwesterners had to cope with floods. Can you imagine, though, sleeping through a tornado? Bill Bryson says his grandparents pretty much did. One night they were suddenly awakened by a roaring noise like the sound of a thousand chain saws. For a few moments the whole house shook. Pictures fell off the walls. A clock fell off the mantle in the living room. Bill's grandfather got up, plodded over to the window and peered out. ...
One Wednesday night at Chicago Stadium, during a fan promotion at a Chicago Bulls-Miami Heat basketball game, a 23-year-old fan by the name of Don Calhoun from Bloomington, Illinois, had a once in a lifetime experience. He was pulled from the bleachers to see if he could shoot a 79-foot shot (a shot that was launched from the opposite free throw line, three-quarters of the length of the basketball court). And Calhoun, who was picked from the crowd because he was wearing bright, yellow shoes, hit "nothing ...
On May 26, 1986, People Express flight number 14 from San Francisco to Newark was ready to depart. Suddenly a wild-eyed man who "looked Iranian" bolted from his seat and ran out the door. Knocking aside startled security officers, he frantically tried to escape through the locked doors of the terminal before an airport police officer finally tackled and subdued him. Was he a terrorist? No. He was just a very average American who was afraid to fly. Unfortunately, he was so frightened of being locked into ...
At the beginning of a New Year, a high school principal decided to post his teachers' New Year's resolutions on the bulletin board. As the teachers gathered around the bulletin board, a great commotion started. One of the teachers was complaining. "Why weren't my resolutions posted?" She was throwing such a temper tantrum that the principal hurried to his office to see if he had overlooked her resolutions. Sure enough, he had mislaid them on his desk. As he read her resolutions he was astounded. This ...
Back in 1919, the Chicago Blacksocks Baseball scandal was unfolding in the newspapers before the public eye of the American people. One afternoon as Shoeless Joe Jackson was leaving the field, a die-hard baseball fan cried out, "Joe, say it ain't so, say it ain't so." The July 6, 1990, issue of the United Methodist Reporter newspaper reported the findings of a gallop poll that was conducted by the Board of Discipleship and the Reverend Ray Sells, a denominational executive. Here is what it states, "Study ...
Here is something you might find interesting. It is from the Guinness Book of Records 1995. The record for an unreturned and overdue library book was set when a book published in 1609 was borrowed from Sidney Sussex College, Cambridge, Great Britain by Colonel Robert Walpole in 1667. It was found by Professor Sir John Plumb in a library at Houghton Hall, Norfolk, Great Britain and returned 288 years later. No fine was exacted. The most overdue book in the United States was a book on febrile diseases by Dr ...
One fellow was bragging to another about his grandfather: "My grandfather," he said, "knew the exact day of the exact year when he was going to die. Not only that, he knew the time he would die that day as well." His friend said, "Wow, that's incredible. How did he know all of that?" The first fellow said: "Because a judge told him." An old man looks out from prison bars. This is a view he's seen before. He's been arrested many times. He has suffered numerous beatings. Funny how life turns out. He was once ...
There was an item in the newspapers sometime back about a star-struck teenager in 1943 named Lorraine Wagner who sent a fan letter to an actor named Ronald Reagan. Reagan took the time to sit down and write a short note of thanks in return. For the next fifty years, Lorraine and Ronald were pen pals. He wrote to tell her about his career, his marriages and all the mundane things that friends share with one another. She wrote the same things to him. Even after Reagan was elected President, he and Lorraine ...
A man wrote into Reader's Digest with an embarrassing story about his former boss. This gentleman was just stepping out of the shower one evening when his wife called and asked him to run down to the basement and turn off the iron she had accidentally left on. Without bothering to grab a towel or robe, the man headed down to the basement. Just as he reached the bottom stair, the lights came on and a dozen friends and colleagues jumped out and shouted, “Surprise!" His wife had planned a secret party for the ...
Dodie Gadient, a schoolteacher for thirteen years, decided to travel across America and see the sights she had taught about. Traveling alone in a truck with camper in tow, she launched out. One afternoon rounding a curve on I-5 near Sacramento in rush-hour traffic, a water pump blew on her truck. She was tired, exasperated, scared, and alone. In spite of the traffic jam she caused, no one seemed interested in helping. Leaning up against the trailer, she prayed, "Please God, send me an angel . . . ...
Our Jewish friends are wonderful story tellers and they do not mind making fun of themselves. Here are two samples: During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the Shema prayer was said, half the congregregants stood up and half remained sitting. The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up. The rabbi, educated as he was in the Law and commentaries, didn't know what to do. His congregation suggested ...
A few days ago we celebrated Independence Day. I thought you might enjoy these thoughts from an unknown author: Only in America . . . can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in America . . . do people order double cheeseburgers, a large fry, and a DIET coke. Only in America . . . do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America . . . do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we ...
The teacher of a junior high class was trying to illustrate the word miracle. "Young people," he said, "Suppose I stood on the roof of a 10-story building, lost my balance and fell off. Then all of a sudden, in midair, a whirlwind swept me up and brought me safely to the ground. Now what word would you use to describe this?" After a long silence a boy raised his hand and asked, "Luck?" "True, true," replied the teacher. "It could be luck. But that's not the word I wanted. I'll repeat the story. There I am ...
There is a wonderful story about a group of military leaders who succeeded in building a super computer that was able to solve any problem large or small, strategic or tactical. These military leaders assembled in front of the new machine for a demonstration. The engineer conducting the demonstration instructed these officers to feed a difficult tactical problem into it. The military leaders proceeded to describe a hypothetical situation to the computer and then asked the pivotal question: attack or ...
Pastor Daniel Bohlman had a problem. The front of his new church was very small only enough room for a pulpit. When a prominent member died, Bohlman had to figure out where to place the coffin for viewing. The most reasonable place seemed to be in the back of the church, where there was more room. All they needed to do was move out one of the back pews for the funeral service, then replace it afterwards. Problem solved or so Pastor Bohlman thought. But certain members of the church were outraged that ...
A 4-year-old boy was asked to return thanks before Thanksgiving dinner. His family bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip. Then he paused, and everyone waited--and waited ...
Maxie Dunnam tells about a recent PEANUTS cartoon in which Lucy--that bossy, assertive, always-take-control character--is playing her role as psychiatrist. She sits in her booth with a banner on the top that says "Psychiatric Help--5 cents," and then down below a sign says, "The Doctor Is In." Charlie Brown is her patient. Lucy says to Charlie, "Your life is like a house . . ." In the next frame, she says reflectively, "You want your house to have a solid foundation, don't you?" Charlie Brown has a kind of ...
A company chartered a ship for its top sales people. These sales people swarmed aboard and headed for their cabins. Minutes later one of them was on deck demanding to see the Captain. One of the officers asked if he could help. "My friend has a much better cabin!" the salesman said. "I did as good a job as he did and I want a cabin just like his." "Sir," the officer replied, "The cabins are identical." "Yeah," said the man, "but his cabin looks out on the ocean and my cabin looks out on this old dock." ...
A while back the editor of Theology Today chronicled his family's misfortunes one winter. Dr. Hugh Kerr told about two emergency hospitalizations: one in Tucson, Arizona -- the other in Princeton, New Jersey. He said that for a period of ten weeks, the outside world seemed to fade into unreality. He and his family were caught up in filling out endless insurance forms, the cancellation and remaking of reservations. He and his friends were interrupted by both hospital staff and well-meaning friends. The Kerr ...
(This meditation is based on a sermon by Siegfried S. Johnson, pastor of First United Methodist Church, Warren, Arkansas. The original sermon is titled "On Names That Preach" and was written for the Third Sunday of Advent. The complete text of this excellent sermon can be found in the subscriber section of our website.) Puritans of 17th century New England gave their children names that reflected their faith. The names they gave their kids were so unusual that they leave us to wonder if, after all, the ...
People do some really strange things to get their names into the Guinness Book of World Records. Every year, the Guinness organization publishes a book that lists the latest world records for such feats as walking the greatest distance on stilts, or eating the most M&Ms with chopsticks. Very few of us aspire to setting records like that. One particularly noteworthy entry in the 2004 edition of Guinness World Records was set on August 3, 2001, when 4,703 people participated in the world's biggest hug--that' ...