A prosperous executive whose work required frequent travel decided to buy his own plane. He took flying lessons and was soon quite comfortable with his more convenient transportation. After a few years he decided to purchase a pontoon plane so he could fly back and forth from his beautiful summer home on the lake. On his first flight in his new plane, he forgetfully started to head for the airport landing strip, just as he had always done. Luckily, his wife was with him and when she saw what he was doing, ...
Have you ever noticed that there is a very fine line between pain and laughter? Sometimes we laugh at a joke because we can breathe a sigh of relief that it happened to someone else and not to us. I read recently about a born loser. I doubt that the story is true. Strange things do happen in life, however. A young man knocked on the door of an expensive home seeking odd jobs to earn money. The owner suggested he should paint the porch using the green paint in the garage. A few hours later, the young man, ...
Jerry Kramer was a member of a team that once dominated the National Football league-the awesome Green Bay Packers under Coach Vince Lombardi. Kramer is also an articulate man who has authored two best-selling books about his experiences. In his most recent book he reflects on his own sense of mortality. His words would be helpful for many of us. He writes, "I think a lot about death these days, which is funny, too, because I've never been healthier. I've had only one serious illness in the past ten years ...
An American History teacher posed the following question to her class: "A distinguished foreigner was a big help to the American colonists during the Revolutionary War," she said. "Can anyone give me his name?" One young fellow felt he knew the answer. "It was God," he said. That’s a pretty good answer. "A distinguished foreigner who helped the colonists." Is there anyone in this room who is not thankful for our God-given freedom as Americans? Please do not misunderstand. I am not confusing America with ...
Bruce Kimball was a 1984 Silver Medalist in the Olympics. Bruce was involved in an accident many years ago. We are told he was intoxicated at the time. Two people were killed. Bruce withdrew from life because of that tragedy. He was depressed. He secluded himself in a trailer home with his father. He had the shades drawn. He turned inward. He was feeling sorry for himself. He could not sleep at night. Just to pass time he would sit and watch television all night long until he couldn’t hold his eyes open ...
In his book Horns and Halos, Dr. J. Wallace Hamilton tells about one of the weirdest auction sales in history; and it was held in Washington, D.C., in 1926, where 150,000 patented models of old inventions were declared obsolete and placed on the auction block for public auction. Prospective buyers and on-lookers chuckled as item after item was put up for bid; such as a "bed-bug buster" or an "illuminated cat" that was designed to scare away mice. Then there was a device to prevent snoring. It consisted of ...
I hope you had the best Christmas ever. Robert Orben says city kids have a difficult time understanding the Christmas story. When he said that Mary and Joseph had to spend the night in a stable, his daughter asked, "What’s a stable?" he said, "Picture your room without a stereo!" Doc Blakely said his son is so out of it that he got a pair of cuff links for Christmas and had his wrists pierced. Just a little Christmas humor to help you get into the service this morning. Ron Gullion had a recurring dream ...
Several years ago, a barbers' supply company held a large convention in a metropolitan city. To show the world how good their products were they organized a publicity stunt. They went to the worst section of town and brought back the dirtiest and most helpless drunk they could find. They presented him on the stage. Everyone saw how dirty and unkempt his hair and beard were. Then they took him out and cleaned him up. They shaved him. They shampooed and styled his hair. They sprayed him with cologne. They ...
Have you ever gotten the wrong gift for Christmas? A woman was talking to her nephew just after Christmas. In a very apologetic way she says, "I'm sorry you don't like my Christmas gift, but I asked if you preferred a small check or a large check." With his head hung in disappointment, the nephew replies, "I know, but I didn't think you were talking about ties." I hope none of us will receive the wrong gift this Christmas. IN SOME WAYS, GOD'S GIFT TO US AT CHRISTMAS SEEMS ALL WRONG. Think, for a minute, ...
Young Ben's family was quite active in a church that emphasizes a personal commitment to Christ. Even though he was quite young, Ben had heard more than one sermon about the importance of surrendering one's life to Christ. And so, one morning as the family sat around the kitchen table eating Cheerios, little Ben announced that he, too, was ready to give his life to Christ. He then got up from the table and went upstairs. His mother and father looked at each other and then decided to follow Ben. They ...
Back in 1991, there was an article in THE NEW YORK TIMES MAGAZINE concerning a group of more than 100 women who reside in Long Beach, California. These women, Cambodian refugees who witnessed the horror of the Pol Pot Regime, are certifiably blind even though doctors say their eyes function perfectly well. These sightless women suffer from psychosomatic or hysterical blindness. They are really blind, but their blindness stems from their minds. Psychosomatic disorders are nothing new. We know that the state ...
Many years ago, firefighters in Canton, Ohio, rushed to the home of Lisa M. Ash, 24, to extinguish a fire. They pulled out of her oven a smoldering voodoo doll made from cloth and twigs that she said she was using to cast a spell against a neighbor, based on advice she said she received from a telephone psychic line. (1) James W. Moore tells about a segment he saw on the television news show "20/20." It was called "Neighbors at War." It showed how next door neighbors do battle with each other fighting, ...
At a certain popular resort there are hot springs and cold springs side by side. Local people washed clothes in the hot spring and then rinsed them in the cold. A tourist, watching the procedure, said to one of the natives, "How bountiful of nature to supply these springs." "Not so bountiful," said the native. "You'll notice there's no soap." A new pastor was full of enthusiasm on his first Sunday. He mentioned the thrill of accepting the call of the congregation, particularly since it had been a unanimous ...
Very early on the first day of the week, when the sun had risen, (the women) went to the tomb. They had been saying to one another, "Who will roll away the stone for us from the entrance of the tomb?" When they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had already been rolled back. Rocks are a hot commodity! I'm not talking pebbles and peagravel. I'm talking boulders. Refrigerator big chunks of stone. The price tag? Well, let's just say they're not cheap. But won't a shapely stone look ...
What a story! This is the strangest story Jesus ever told! At least it's the strangest one we have in the Bible! There are some other rather strange stories that appear in collections like the Gospel of Thomas. But they didn't make it into the Bible! Think about it! If we're reading this thing correctly, Jesus is telling us to imitate a crook! A downright scoundrel! He cheats on his employer. He lies to his business associates. And yet, says Jesus, here's somebody from whom we need to learn! How could he ...
Author Barbara Johnson, in her book, Fresh Elastic for Stretched Out Moms, tells about a package she once received that was marked DAMAGED IN TRANSIT, BUT DELIVERABLE. There was a space at the top that said either DELIVERABLE or UNDELIVERABLE, and a big black crayon marked this package as DELIVERABLE! The string was hanging off it, the label was torn off, and tapes were hanging out of one corner, but it was still deliverable. Barbara Johnson says she thought of how many lives like her own are damaged and ...
Long, long ago, or so I've been told, Two saints, they met on the streets paved with gold. "By the stars in your crown," said the one to the other, "I see that on earth you, too, were a mother. And by the blue tinted halo, I see that you wear, You, too, have known sorrow and deepest despair." "Ah, yes," came the answer, "I once had a son. A sweet little lad, full of laughter and fun." "But, tell of your child!" "Oh, I knew I was blest, The first moment I held Him, close to my breast; And my heart almost ...
On March 17, 1930, construction began on what was to be the tallest skyscraper ever built. Towering 1,472 feet, an incomprehensible 102 stories, the Empire State Building remained the tallest man-made structure from 1931 to 1970. It was built at a cost of more than 40 million dollars. During a typical storm this great structure absorbs as many as 20 bolts of lightning. In July of 1945, due to low visibility, a B-25 bomber inadvertently crashed into the side of the Empire State Building. Strangely enough ...
Object: a single-scent air freshener spray (like cinnamon, or vanilla, or rose as opposed to "mountain breezes scent"). Might want to use a pump bottle instead of an aerosol can less chance of spraying anything in little one's eyes. Good morning, boys and girls. Are you ready for a little test? Do me a favor: put your hands over your eyes. Now I'm going to spray some air freshener in the air. Can you tell me what that smells like? (Be sure to spray away from the children's faces. Give them a few seconds to ...
Object: some hard candy (start out with just five pieces in your hand) Good morning, boys and girls. Can you see what I have in my hand? That's right, it's candy. How many pieces am I holding? That's right, five pieces. Now what if I gave one piece to you, and one piece to you, and one piece to you? How many pieces would I have left? That's right, I have two. Because I gave some candy away, now I have less candy. If I kept giving candy away, soon I'd run out. There would be no more candy left. Now here's a ...
Trudy Rosenfield left England in good spirits, looking forward to landing in sunny San Jose, California, after an all-day flight. Little did Ms. Rosenfield know that her travel agent had made a computer error in booking her flight. The travel agent had accidentally put the seventy-year-old woman on a flight to San Jose, Costa Rica. Ms. Rosenfield fell asleep on the plane, blissfully unaware that she was headed for the wrong destination. When she never arrived at the California airport, Ms. Rosenfield's ...
"I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel . . . It is not fair to take the children's food and throw it to the dogs" . July 17, 1938. Douglas Corrigan tops off the fuel tank of his tiny 1929 Curtis Robin monoplane. Moments later Corrigan is airborne from the East Coast's Floyd Bennett Airfield. The plane is hardly state-of-the-art. His cabin door is literally tied shut with baling wire. Two compasses comprise the sum of his navigational instruments. Corrigan's flight plan was to head west ...
Have you ever noticed that sometimes life can be a little hard? Coming home from his Little League game, a little boy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. “So, how did you do, son?" he asked. “You'll never believe it!" the young fellow replied. “I was responsible for the winning run!" “Really?" asked his father. “How'd you do that?" Said the little boy, “I dropped the ball." One day in 1990, actress Michelle Pfeiffer was in ...
In a cemetery in Ribbesford, England, this epitaph was found on the tombstone of one Anna Wallace: "The children of Israel wanted bread /And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna." A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery: "Sacred to the memory of /my husband John Barnes /who died January 3, 1803 His comely young widow, aged 23, has /many qualifications of a good wife, and /yearns to be comforted." A woman wrote in to a Minnesota newspaper to tell of ...
Object: a thermos filled with hot cocoa, a large coffee mug (Be very careful pouring hot liquids around small children might want to use an adult volunteer to demonstrate) Good morning, boys and girls. You know, we're starting to enter the winter months, and the weather is going to get colder soon. And there's nothing better to drink in cold weather than hot cocoa. (Pour cocoa from thermos into mug) That's what I like about this thermos. A thermos is a container that keeps hot stuff hot. I can put my hot ...