A story came across my desk recently about a man who worked for the Post Office. This man’s job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came to his desk addressed in shaky handwriting to God. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. He opened it and read these words: Dear God, I am a 93-year-old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday ...
It seems strange that New Year’s Eve should fall on a Sunday. But that, of course, is what today is. Many of you are looking forward to New Year’s Eve parties. I’ve always appreciated writer Bill Vaughan’s words: “Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.” I won’t ask how late some of you will be up. Some of you will celebrate via your television. I also like what some comedian said about that. He said, “I love it when they drop the ball in Times ...
When my sister and I were teenagers, my mom was worried about the people with which we were friends. Every so often, she would remind us to choose wisely. “Bad company destroys good morals,” she would say. Or, “You’re defined by the company you keep.” Or my personal favorite: “If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.” Like most parents, Mom wanted to protect us from those that might get us into trouble. In that light, I wonder if anyone every warned the disciples about hanging around with Jesus. ...
On the counter above our kitchen sink, my wife keeps a little flip calendar. It’s called, “If You Want Breakfast in Bed, Sleep in the Kitchen,” and each day it offers a bit of pithy wisdom. Things like—“We all get heavier as we get older because there’s more information in our head,” or “Confidence is the feeling you have before you really understand the situation.” One saying this week seemed appropriate for our current series on the Faces of Failure. “It may be your purpose in life,” it read, “to simply ...
The city of Jerusalem was packed with strangers during the Passover feast, so you could walk a long distance and never see anyone you recognized. He was counting on that, as he quickly moved along the streets with his head held low and his face covered. He moved from alleyway to alleyway, looking carefully in all directions before stepping into the openness of a street, making sure there was not someone who might recognize him. But while he tried to remain hidden, he had to be careful to not appear too ...
James Moore tells a humorous story about a woman named Carol who was the organist at her church. She was an outstanding musician, but she did something no organist should ever do. She overslept on Easter morning and missed the sunrise service. Obviously, she was embarrassed. Of course, the minister and the church forgave her. They teased her about it a little, but it was done lovingly and in good fun. However, the next Easter her phone rang at 5:00 in the morning. Jolted awake by the loud ringing, she ...
It’s not long until some of you will be heading out for a summer vacation. I hope you won’t take a vacation from God. Some of you undoubtedly will be camping. You may appreciate the story of a couple who were vacationing in Yosemite National Park. The wife expressed her concern about going camping because of bears and said she would feel more comfortable in a motel. The husband said that he’d like to camp. To calm her concerns he said they’d talk to the park ranger to see what the likelihood was of an ...
Benjamin Franklin was one of the cleverest men of his generation. It is said that in the spring of 1772 Franklin attended a party thrown by Lord Shelburne at one of Shelburne’s estates. The other guests watched as Franklin approached a turbulent stream with his gold-headed bamboo cane in hand. He boasted to the other guests that he could calm the water. Franklin walked upstream about 100 yards. Waving his cane over the stream three times in the best abracadabra fashion, he stepped back, his feat ...
Whether they knew it or not, the disciples were about to begin an intensive seminar on discipleship. It was time for Boot Camp. As Mark implied in his repetitive use of the word, "immediately," there was an urgency about Jesus and he was running out of time before he handed over the reins to the twelve. He needed to know what they understood and what they didn't; how much remediation was this bunch going to require? Were they able to see beneath the signs that he had performed to the deeper, richer message ...
A young man has just graduated from college with his education degree, and he's now looking for a job as a high school teacher. He has a vision of helping students prepare for life after high school, but at the same time he has a lot of doubts. "The kids seemed so bored, so unresponsive," he says about his practice teaching this past year. "I wonder if my work will make any difference in their lives at all?" A social worker has been at her job for a number of years. She began her work with high ideals of ...
It happened many years ago, but I remember the experience as if it was yesterday. It was late September and I was in the first grade. The teacher assigned an art project. “Draw a picture of a boat. Do your very best,” she instructed. I was excited. I specialized in drawing boats, particularly the ships of the United States Navy. My mother always praised my boat pictures. With the precision ordinarily reserved for the drafting tables of the shipyard at Norfolk, Virginia, I crafted what I believed was a ...
Do you ever feel bored . . . like your life is in a rut . . . that your life is a big, fat zero? Comedian Brad Stine puts it this way, “I feel like I’m in a rut. Every time I go to bed at night, I find myself just getting up again the next morning.” Well, some of us are grateful just to get up the next morning . . . but there are many people, if they were to define their lives at its essence, would define their life with one word: boring! People will sometimes go to desperate measures to escape boredom. ...
Pastor Tom Rietveld tells an interesting true story about prayer. He says that when he was pastoring in Missouri his church needed approximately $10,000 beyond what they were able to give to close out the year. And so, Pastor Rietveld asked the church family and their church leaders to pray for that amount, specifically—$10,000. Unexpectantly, a few weeks before the end of the year, a gift came in the mail. It was for several shares of stock worth $5,000. Pastor Rietveld put out the word that God had ...
“Be afraid. Be very afraid.” The year is 1986 and the movie is the remake of the classic horror film, “The Fly.” Jeff Goldbum plays the eccentric scientist, Seth Brundle, who is working on a machine that will teleport people and things by disassembling their molecules at one point and reassembling them at another. Geena Davis plays Veronica Quaife, a reporter who is writing Brundle’s story. Unfortunately, when Brundle tries to transport himself from one room to another, a housefly is inadvertently trapped ...
The carol shouts “Joy to the world, the Lord is come!” In another the musicians are instructed to “play the oboe and bagpipes merrily.” In the little town of Bethlehem “we hear the Christmas angels the great glad tidings tell.” The songs of Christmas are filled with “Hark!” and “Gloria!” and “Hallelujah!” The angels tell the shepherds to be not afraid because they are bringing “good news of great joy.” The Advent/Christmas season is one filled to overflowing with Joy. No wonder the secular world embraces ...
2491. Church No-Nos
Humor Illustration
King Duncan
Church nevers . . . 6. Never ask an usher to break a $20. 5. Never do a cannonball in the baptismal tank. 4. Never hold a church business meeting on Super Bowl Sunday. 3. Never tell the pastor, “We love your church and we might even come back next Easter.” 2. During youth group activities, never bungee jump off the church steeple or play chicken with the church buses. 1. After a soloist of impressive size sings “Love Lifted Me,” don’t follow with the hymn “It Took a Miracle."
Grace upon grace. What a lovely turn of phrase that is. The gospel writer, John, really knew his stuff, didn’t he? Now, if only we knew what it meant. What exactly is this grace of God that we hear so much about in the Christian community? Christian theologians have spent much of the last two thousand years trying to define it. Saint Augustine said that grace is the unmerited love and favor which God makes available to all human beings.1 Martin Luther believed that God’s grace was God’s mercy and ...
We hear it all the time. We hear it in church, in interviews with sports and movie stars, and we hear it a whole lot around the Fourth of July. “I’ve been blessed.” “We’ve been so blessed.” But what does it mean? What does it mean to be blessed? Usually we associate it with plentitude. It means that we have a lot of something: money, property, talent. Certainly, in that sense things haven’t changed much over the past 2,000 years. Ask any first-century Jew who the blessed people were in their community and ...
Luke 9:10-17, Matthew 14:13-21, Mark 6:30-44, John 6:1-15
Sermon
Lori Wagner
“I am the Bread of Life.” (John 6:35) Prop: a puppy or kitten; recipe for barley flat bread I have with me a little friend today [allow for the oohs and aahs]. Who would like to come and pet him? I know last Sunday was World Animal Sunday. But every Sunday should be World Animal Sunday, our pets are such an important part of our families. [No rushing, give people time … especially children to come up front or walk about the congregation with him….allowing people to see him and touch him. Consider letting ...
“I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek your servant, for I do not forget your commandments. (Psalm 119) Animation: “What Kind of Sheep Are You” Online Test: http://selectsmart.com/FREE/select.php?client=baaa Animation: Live Lamb (you can rent a lamb at your neighborhood 4H club or a nearby farm) Animation: Shepherd’s staff (any large natural wood staff will do) We love the Christmas story for its simplicity. Simple shepherds, simple sheep, simple message, simple mission. It all seems so simple. Hence ...
Animation: sweet rolls or some other food to feast on / juice It’s dinnertime! So everyone scrambles to the table to get the best seat, claim the biggest pork chop, peek at the choicest rolls… It’s the story of almost every large family, buffet, or large gathering. Who gets the last piece of cake? How does it work out in your family? Is it first-come, first serve. Or does it go to the eldest? Or the littlest? The saddest—the one who can beg the best? The quickest? The one with the best or most convincing ...
Luke 19:28-44, Matthew 21:1-11, Mark 11:1-11, John 12:12-19
Sermon
Lori Wagner
[Optional Prop: Door frame and Cross] If you’re like many people at this time of year, you are anticipating the great Easter Feast, especially if you gave up something you love for Lent. What was it for you? Was it chocolate? Did you go on a special diet? Those are the most popular. But I’ve heard a couple of really unusual ones too, like not using your curling iron for the duration of Lent. Or declining to watch your favorite tv show. And then there are the really strange ones. In fact, if you google ...
“Israel is my son, even my firstborn.” (Exodus 4:22) “For I am married unto you.” (Jeremiah 3:14) One of the first things we learn as a young child is our name. Even pets learn to recognize their names. Names call us into relationship with others. Names anchor us to families and places. Names are powerful. Names are markers of identity that sometimes signify a change in relationship, identity, meaning, or mission. When some of you married, your name changed. Some wives will take the surnames of their ...
Prop: mustard seeds, brew pot [Optional beginning: stew.... adding one small anise seed, or garlic flower, or mustard seed can radically change the taste of your stew, can transform it in fact.] As we come into the new year, many of us have plans stewing, ideas brewing, and we mean to go forward with resolutions in hand and resolve in order. We want to change our lives. We want to alter our behavior. We want to make things happen. We want to move mountains. And yet, our scriptures for today would challenge ...
DISCONTENT Like a thorn in the flesh, like a fly in the mesh, Like a boat that is chained to shore, The wild unrest of the heart in my breast Tortures me more and more. I wot not why, it should wail and cry Like a child that is lost at night, For it knew no grief, but has found relief, And it is not touched with blight. It has had of pleasure full many a measure; It has thrilled with love's red wine; It has hope and health, and youth's rare wealth-- Oh rich is this heart of mine. Yet it is not glad--it is ...