The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God’s mind—a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you’ve just made a down payment on a house.Woody Allen
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.Woody Allen
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.Woody Allen
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying.Woody Allen
I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him.Woody Allen
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.Woody Allen
If I could only see one miracle, just one miracle. Like a burning bush, or the seas part, or my uncle Sasha pick up a check.Woody Allen
If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.Woody Allen
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.Woody Allen
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.Woody Allen
Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, "Be fruitful, and multiply." But not in those words.Woody Allen
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.Woody Allen
