Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.Joan Rivers
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.Joan Rivers
I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.Joan Rivers
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes - and six months later you have to start all over again.Joan Rivers
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.Joan Rivers
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.Joan Rivers
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.Joan Rivers
